A good exercise for those going through, or considering, divorce is to think about what your divorce story will be when it is over. What do you hope to say about the divorce process and results?
Some things to think about are:
- What have you accomplished during the divorce process?
- Have you maintained positive relationships with important family and friends?
- How have your child(ren) transitioned through the process?
- Have you created an outcome that will help launch your future success?
I encourage people to think about the long-term positive things they wish to accomplish (goal setting). For some, the short-term goals are revenge, to make a spouse miserable, or to liquidate the marital estate in search of ‘justice.’ These are normal feelings and not wrong to have, especially hearing many of the heartbreaking stories of what some people go through.
However, there are often good arguments that the short-term satisfaction that comes from some short-term strategies often work against you in the long-term.
My recommendation is to write your divorce story early… even before you begin. It doesn’t have to be complex or formal. Identify what is important long-term. This will help you make good decisions about how to strategically move forward and prepare you to live your story!